Chapters of my Life

Photo

Sat, 26 Nov 2011 01:20:48 -0500

The Fixing

Wed, 23 Nov 2011 19:04:23 -0500

You alone, have repaired the gateway between happiness, and dark sadness. One little word has forever changed the severity of the shadows inside my mind. If it were not for your healing abilities, the bridge would have collapsed, the tunnel would have subsided, the light would have diminished. All though the shades are partially over me, I have the powerful light that you have shined over me, freeing me from the complete control of the shaded room, my corrupted mind.

Our Difference

Thu, 10 Nov 2011 16:37:39 -0500

You don’t understand how I am. You believe that I live for the same things as you, but i’m entirely different. You include me in your jokes, putting me in a position that I do not particularly like. Don’t feel singled out, since I’m used by many students. Simply because they don’t have the nerves to do it themselves. I am pressured by these fake teens everyday, and all that has resulted from that is punishment and failure. There is nothing gained from what i’ve done, besides new enemies, and faked laughter. Now that I am how I am, it doesn’t matter if i’m absolutely hilarious, as I could care less. You will finally have to do these acts yourself.

What Lies Beneath

Thu, 10 Nov 2011 15:53:23 -0500

I pray for darkness at times when it is impossible, as I feel an akward presence among those who enjoy the brightness of day.

If only that wish to start conversations with me would understand that I am not concerned about the terrific things that are happening to them.

Don’t expect my “happiness” to last, as it becomes more and more of a struggle to fake cheerfulness to hide my true identity as a depressed child.

Only a select amount of people in my life understand how I feel most of the time. Sadly they are most certainly not my family, which could care less about my well-being, as long as they get what their selfish minds want.

I’ve made the mistake of associating with the confused teens at my school. I’m going to be ridiculed even harder once the mask is gone. I’ve confided my likeliness with a few friends, but that won’t stop the mass of other kids who make their lives better with the torturing of those who are “Different”.

I’ve decided not to worry myself with the thoughts against me, as long as the damage isn’t to severe. I’m ready for my undeserved punishments once they all know.

Uncertainty

Thu, 10 Nov 2011 15:51:58 -0500

Throughout the day, I sit and wonder whether or not I should discuss my problems with a professional. Although I shouldn’t feel like this, i’m almost ashamed to be different than the others. I’ve gotten quite far by trying to blend in with the normal crowd, even if they are mostly ignorant juveniles. I’m not entirely sure about who i’ve grown familiar with, as i’m not one for uneccesary amounts of attention, but that’s the only way to be “in” with the noticed kids. If it weren’t for my false personality, I would never have made the decent wall of lies that I hide behind now. A clone of the rest of them.